


what keeps you

by bluelongan



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-SPECTRE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelongan/pseuds/bluelongan
Summary: james could leave it all behind, but someone gives him a reason to stay.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	what keeps you

Hours after wrapping up a rather messy assignment, James finds himself sober enough to head to the apartment he owns. He cleans himself up in the shower and attends to his wounds as best as he can. The familiar actions and fatigue creeping into his mind weakens his resolve, and his mind drifts away to the memories of nimble fingers on his skin, gentle chiding in his ear and a light press of lips on his forehead on days where he stumbles into a home that’s not his, but manages to find solace in the man's arms. 

When he deems his work satisfactory, he leaves the empty shell of his apartment as the first few rays of sunlight slip in through the small opening between the closed curtains. Perhaps his failed, genuine attempt at a relationship with Madeleine has left him more bitter than he realises, and the future seems darker than before. 

Coming back dredges up memories and sensations he tries to bury and forget as he makes his way through the narrow halls of the office. In the end, he might bleed to death in a burning building, or grow old and alone on a bed, waiting for his time to come. There would be no blissful retirement, no riding into the sunset with a loved one without a care in the world. It was a life he could never live. The years of running and hiding have instilled in him a nagging sense of insecurity that kept him alive, watchful and alert in the quiet hours of the night while someone slept peacefully by his side. 

The only reason why he comes back, he tells himself, is that there is nothing to him. He is but a ghost with most of his life dedicated to his country, a killer with no place in society. To retire would be to die. He would lose all purpose and meaning. 

But he sees a mop of messy black hair, an ugly cardigan that he has grown rather fond of (because of the way it looks beautiful on that man), and receives a small smile from Q before he returns to typing on his computer. James closes the distance and pulls Q into a hug despite his muffled protests of having work to do, but eventually Q sighs in defeat and returns the hug, running his fingers through James’s hair.

Perhaps Q is what keeps him from leaving, and James lets himself hope for a future with him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! this is my first fic.


End file.
